Good first visit

Visit one went really well! I don't think my house has ever looked that good haha. Too bad it didn't stay that way...

We have the best licensing worker! (The other two ladies are awesome too though!) She is very patient with us as we try to decide what to do. I wonder if she's ever met more indecisive people than us! She said she's used to it ;) Anyway, she patiently answered all of our questions and asked us some to help us think through everything. I appreciate her being open and honest with us. It is helping us! You know, just when you think you have it figured out what you're going to do, you get more info and lean the other direction.   Oh well, we're still talking about it...

Now to relax we are spending the day with family in Moulton! Awesome day full of food, laughter, and football! 

Here's a shot of us when the visit was over:

How relieved do we look??

On another note

On another note- as I have worked my tail off today getting the house ready, I have had to fight off some resentment towards those who don't have to go through all of this for a child. 

Just keeping it real y'all...

And some resentment towards this one for making such a mess! 

Home visit Friday

Today is the day of the first home visit. As I'm taking a break from frantically moving stuff around (so that meds and cleaners can be locked up) and cleaning my house. I cannot believe how much stuff we have in this house!  And that's after we have even cleaned out cabinets and closets. I guess we need round 2! 

So of course today I see all of the projects I wish I could get done in time. Brandon had a profound statement this morning (he usually does; I learn so much from him!). He said if we really wanted to go the fostering route we would be so excited to the point that our house would have been ready already. He's right; if this was something I really wanted to do I would be so strongly in favor that nothing could stop me!  I feel like if we choose the adoption route we have more time to not only get our house ready, but more time to think things through. More time to consider answers to the questions we will be asked: what age or gender do we prefer, how many children? They even ask about race and culture. So that does take some (not all) of the pressure off of this visit today. But we still need your prayers! I need to be able to think straight and I need Sherman to not use his box while our worker is here!

On a nicer note, check out what my awesome Mama brought us! This is what I came home to yesterday (along with some incredible caramel apple bread):

She's pretty great!

Ok, it's back to work I go! Keep praying please 😊

Some helps along the way

As Brandon and I have been traveling this road, I have stumbled upon many books and posts and articles that have been so helpful! 

One in particular is a book I am currently reading; it is Barren Among the Fruitful by Amanda Hope Haley. I have been searching for a book like this one for a while now. Every infertility/adoption story I hear or read about has been helpful, but most of them end with that "happily ever after"- a baby or child. I kept wondering, where are the stories from women who didn't have that ending? What if I never get that ending?  This book not only covers the author's infertility story, and stories from other women, but it talks about not ever having children. I highly recommend it!

Another helpful post is one I found on the true women blog. It's called, What if I Can't  Have Children? I'll attempt to add the link in here. Not promising anything though! Well try this, go to www.truewoman.com/?id=2723

Hopefully it works because it s a great article! For more of what I have found you can also check out my facebook page. I also have a board on Pinterest. It's called hopefully one day. 

That's it for now! How about ending with Sherman? That always make me happy!

 

Mission Complete!

We made it! We got our Tuesday nights back! (It's good to know that other people struggled with the 3 hour Tuesday nights too.)  

Last week was our final GPS meeting and we all got our certificates. I'm so glad that we have proof of completion! We earned those certificates- I might have to frame mine.  Tonight we had our CPR training at the DHR building. And it just might be the last time I have to set foot in there for a formal meeting!  No offense to the workers there- loved them but glad to be done!  The CPR training was really good and actually fun; we had a great instructor.

Here is how we celebrated our freedom:

Oh yeah- Five Guys!!!

Friday afternoon we have our first home visit by our assigned worker. So if you think about it, please lift us up in prayer!  And please include a prayer that Sherman cooperates! 

My prayer has been that God will help us figure out what we want to do and what's best to do.  Obviously we want His will and His plan over our own.  I really just need Him to tell me exactly what to do here.  It doesn't always work that way does it? 

My heart is full

So sorry about the debbie-downer post yesterday. Sometimes you just have down or dark days, you know? The feelings are there, but in my short 38 years on this earth I have realized that my feelings will lie to me. They can't always be trusted. That's when God in his sweet mercy and grace usually sends someone my way to lift me up and encourage me. And sometimes even to "slap me out of it."

My heart is full today because I got to spend some time with a girl that I have know since she was a baby. And now she is a freshman in college. Wow do I feel old!  Monica came by to tell me all about school and everything going on in her life. I cannot tell you how good it was to listen and ask questions. Big duh moment here: it's so nice to focus on somebody else and get my eyes off of myself! I have missed her and that group of girls that I got to teach in Sunday school last year. I can't imagine how their parents feel!

One of the things we talked about was prayer and having an active, intentional prayer life. It's so important and it's an area that I struggle with. But I love to pray for other people. So if there is anything I can pray about for you, please let me know! This verse in Romans is so good: "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." That's Romans 12:12 and it's my challenge for the moment. What's yours?

In closing, here is a picture from when I got to go with Monica and her friend Christy to a college preview day at the wonderful Blue Mountain College (it's an awesome college!!):

 

I absolutely love and miss these girls!

This is not a perky post

If you are looking for a perky, happy, make you feel good post, I would advise you to stop reading and go find some pictures of kittens.  Here's a fat cat for your viewing pleasure before you close this web page (the day Sherman got stuck under the bed and Brandon stopped for a picture before getting him out- my favorite):

When this blog was started, the purpose was to document this journey through the DHR adoption/foster care process.  I wanted to be able to go back and read everything once the process is complete and we have our happy little family the way I'd planned it all along.  I prefer to share the highs, but I think part of that is to show the lows too.  At the risk of being transparent and vulnerable, here goes... Today I feel absolutely defeated and hopeless.  Before you scroll down to comment, I know for certain that there is an abundance of hope in Jesus, and that's where my strength comes from.  I am not doubting this at all; I just am having a little pity moment (not even a party) and I will get over it.  It just seems like this is never going to happen.  And I do thank God for the friends and family who will sit and listen and let me vent without preaching to me.  That is a form of ministering to people and it is so important.  Encouragement- yes; showing me the fault in my current theology- no, please, just no. Not right now.

I just read an incredible blog post by an incredible young woman.  She was able to put into words what I couldn't even put into thoughts.  The blog is called Forming the Pearl and I would encourage you to go read it.  She has some awesome words of encouragement and help for this moment that I needed to read (and put into practice).  The particular blog post is called "In the Meantime."

Another reason for being so transparent is so that the two people who read this blog (thanks Mama and Margaret!) will know better how to pray for me and Brandon.  I never get tired of hearing people tell me they are praying for us!  The LIFE Group lesson this Sunday is on prayer and it's a good one.  I call it a "toe-stomper" because it didn't just step on my toes, it stomped on them!  That explanation is for all of the engineers out there.  ;)  Oh I'm just kidding... sort of.

Ok, I have to end on a positive note, so here is another picture of Sherman.  He was so glad to see us when we came back from the beach.  I was just glad he didn't leave us any presents...

And some more from the beach...

Matching converse!

The whole group at the Back Porch.

Fun times. I want to go back right now.

You're welcome.

Attempting a selfie.

Me with my love.

And group shot on the last day after all of our football teams lost.

Finally... The beach!

Well we finally made it to the beach! We are here with my parents, my cool converse-wearing 91 year old Mamaw, my sister and her fiancé. It's always a good time. :) I love the beach in October! I can actually come out from under the umbrella. The ocean is clear, the breeze is cool, the sky is blue with a few clouds, and I have my newest Ted Dekker book. Life is good right now!

As of Tuesday we are done with 8 classes out of 10. The classes are still very helpful and informative. I can't emphasize enough how good the case/social workers are! They have done a great job with our classes. And have been very patient with us haha. We still don't know what we will decide. If you think about it, please pray for us. Pray that we will be able to decide what to do. We have so much information to process that it's almost overwhelming! I have a tendency to jump into things and think about it later. I'm so thankful that Brandon keeps me grounded and is good about processing things! 

Thanks for taking the time to read my scattered thoughts! And for praying for us. In the meantime, I'll be soaking up some sun and some shade with my toes in the sand!